Another Influence

http://www.davidshrigley.com/

Another influence.

I Need To Buy New Boots (New Boots)

"My old boots are coming up at the heal" Derrick said with a dumb ass frown on his face. "I need to buy new boots."
"Why don't you get them repaired?" His second best friend Arthur asked after he had bent down and poked at the old pair of cowboy boots.
"Fuck that I'm gonna glue that shit down" Derrick said, now excited with his bad ass idea. He went to the glue drawer and snatched a tube of glue for model things. He sat down at the kitchen table and took off the bad boot, struggling with it over his knee. After unscrewing the lid and making three lines of glue across the rotten part of the boot he smacked the heal three times with his palm.
"That oughta do it" Arthur said nodding his head. Derrick put the boot back on his foot and did five circle trots around the kitchen.
"Sho' nuff" Derrick shouted.
This was his new thing, whenever he saw the slightest opportunity he yelled "Sho' nuff." Arthur was unaware that it was a slightly ironic phrase for Derrick, and made a swift judgment of his friend. He didn't like Derrick's new persona, which Arthur concluded was rugged asshole cowboy. He was then positive his friend had become a douche bag and made an instant attempt to distance himself from Derrick.
"I want to distance myself from you, man. I think you're a douche bag." This was a very direct way for Arthur to do exactly what he wanted to do, and only served to prove that they were very close friends.
"I understand," Derrick said, "we are headed down opposite roads in life. We should see less of each other." In his head Arthur smiled, he knew they could never be far from each others hearts.
"I'll call you every once in a while, but that's it." Arthur stated firmly.
"Let's say every two months," Derrick specified.
"Make it three months" Arthur said, " starting next month."
"Deal," Derrick said extending his hand. Arthur shook it swinging his arm around for a hug. Arthur couldn't help but tell Derrick he loved him, and did so as he started toward the front door. Derrick wanted to chase after him to tell him that he shared his love and would stop using his new catch phrase if only Arthur would stay, but Derrick's boot was glued to the floor and, distracted, he missed his opportunity to call out to Arthur before he was out the door. They wouldn't speak for the agreed four month period, but when they did the emotions were long passed. Derrick had bought a new pair of cowboy boots and Arthur was fucking a bar tender at the Honky Tonk in Springdale.

Brenden Garbee

The Earth and the Sun by Brenden Garbee. Check him out.
http://bgarbee.blogspot.com/

Submissions

The editors of Unitard Magazine are continually accepting submissions. However, the deadline for the first issue is approaching, we are looking to have everything ready to go in mid September so if you want to submit something let us know that you are planning on it, or just actually submit it. Otherwise it will be considered for the following issue next spring. Email submissions to any of the editors. Their Email addresses can be found by clicking on their name to the right side of the blog.

I don't have nothin'

Not a whole lot goin on. So I thought I would say that art is pretty cool. There is some of that goin on. The Great Mural Wall is coming along nicely, Ashley Laird is working on it with KT Walsh, here is a link.

http://www.tscpl.org/gallery/comments/be_a_part_of_history_help_paint_the_great_wall_of_topeka/

the world's largest hand

mobile facebook status update nightmare.

this is one example of a picture from a woman named Chan Lee's series of web articles "The Most Horrible Diseases Ever to Tremble the Earth" with the casual tag line: Don’t doubt and don’t ask why. These weird and horrible diseases exist around us. They really make it difficult for those affected to live normal lives.

chan discusses these graphic diseases that she makes up her own names to such as "collapsed face disease", "huge tongue syndrome", and "mop-looking". somehow she gets away with using a picture of the Blue Man Group to illustrate the story of an Appalachian family afflicted with a gene that leaves thier skin with a indigo tint.

her insights instruct readers to be objective: When you look at this baby, you’ll probably first yell, “Gosh!” Yes, this was a real baby. This was a human frog that was born by a woman in the Luxor General Hospital. Apparently, the baby was transformed into an external appearance resembling the external feature of a frog that you may have come across around the pond. Well, this sounds bizarre and strange to you, but please don’t curse or hoax at this baby.

after the most horrible diseases to tremble the world 3, (In this series, I’ll focus more on tumor), chan breaks from the title of the series to offer instead: Somewhat Unusual: The Most Disturbing Deformations and Abnormalities in Human History. i can kinda get in line with applying "somewhat unusual" to the baby with the penis growing out of his back, but i have to say that suggesting that harlequin ichthyosis is no big woop is pretty fuckin out there. chan ends this with an instructional section for pregnant moms- a section with about 20 or more helpful suggestions for the expectant mother-to-be. i will simplify the first 3:

1- do not sleep in a waterbed with an electric field
2- go to anger management
3- avoid recieving an x-ray

and just let chan explain for herself number four.

4- "You should never get your eyes contact with weird, scary and wild animals, objects or shapes (either in the tangible or intangible condition) as this will affect the developing of fetus."

thats as far as i got.

there is also a Most Horrible Diseases Ever to Tremble the World 5, and her new project, 10 Shockingly Terrible Eating Related Diseases .


i think i might be able to apply this format to a tour through some really heinous poetry i have written in the past. that might give me something to do during school orientation tomorrow.

anyone want to start a band with me called Scary Shapes?

i will not make any more boring art

John Baldessari, I Will Not Make Any More Boring Art. 1971.

Dead Letters and Rare Words

I think mark burrier would also be a good candidate to illustrate the maiden issue of Unitard. I have submitted "unitard" to his Rare Words project, and requested permission to publish the illustration if you all are interested. I am still working on an illustration too, but since we are all about democracy around this block, I am compiling a group of possibilities. Any suggestions, requests, complaints, or casual chit chat about physical ailments are welcome.